Friends & strangers come together to get a woman and her son to safety

This is a thank you letter for all of you who gave to a stranger to help her and her son find safety this year.

A couple months ago, a Facebook friend of mine messaged me. It brought a smile to my face to see her name pop up in my messages box and we began catching up. She had reached out to me because she had a feeling I could help her with the terrible situation she found herself in. We came up with a plan to raise money so that she and her son could find a permanent, safe solution and used GoFundMe as a tool to raise these much-needed funds for her.

Here’s the original post that she and I crafted together:

Please join me in helping support a wonderful woman and her son move out of her abuser’s home. Her relationship with her now-ex (not the child’s father) became physically abusive recently, having escalated from verbal, emotional, and financial abuse that had built up slowly over time. When she discovered guns in the house that were not even locked up, she immediately got her son out of the house for both of their safety. She has done a remarkable job shielding her son from being aware of the abuse that has happened. This amazing woman, who works in the wellness industry and helps others, needs to stay anonymous to protect her grade-school aged child.

The dynamic between her and her now-ex changed when she moved in with him. He coerced her to quit her job (encouraging her to embrace stay-at-home mom responsibilities to then use that against her with verbal and emotional attacks and financial dependence). She has recently gone back to work and is taking additional steps to empower herself and keep herself and her son safe. She is inspiring and needs help now. She has been connecting with local DV services to explore additional ways of getting support but her options and local resources are limited and she has no extended family to turn to. Currently, she is staying at a friend’s house on a short term basis.

Because of the abuser’s insistence that she become financially dependent on him, she’s in need of some financial support right now. She is working again but needs to remove her child and herself from the home immediately. Let’s help her and her son get safe and secure.

Please join me in donating to her cause. The funds will be used for first-month rent, last-month rent, and a security deposit on a two-bedroom one-bath apartment in Seattle so her son can stay in his same school. The funds would also be used towards a moving service to help get her things out efficiently and safely.  If she raises more money than she needs for these specific costs, she will pay it forward and donate to another family with a similar need or a Local Domestic Violence Program.

Trust me in this, she is a kind, generous, and hard-working woman who gives back to her community and is taking all the steps she needs to empower herself and keep her and her son safe and protected. She is worthy of your love and support. If you can donate and share this with others, it would be so appreciated. We are so grateful for your support.

Today is a day we get to celebrate together! I received this update from her and shared it on the GoFundMe Page:

 “Thank you friends and strangers alike! By the generosity of all of you donors, as well as a multitude of private donations, I was able to successfully flee the situation. Between community resources and the kind words and donations, I nearly reached my goal and was able to get to a safe living arrangement for me and my son. I feel like the second I got the keys to my new place that my entire life changed. For the first time in a year, I felt hopeful and alive. Good fortune has come my way and I’m excited about this new chapter of my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping this to happen. I have already began donating time to a few of the organizations that were essential in helping me get back on my feet. I will never forget this experience and am overwhelmed at the kindness and generosity that still exists in this world. I will do my best daily to pay it forward in every way I am able. Thank you!!”

So thank you, friends, for all your generosity to help this wonderful woman and her son find a safe living arrangement. We are so grateful to all of you.

And to this woman, and all people out there reaching out for support to find safety for themselves and their children, I am so inspired by you. You are worthy of love and safety and support. Thank you, friend, for being brave enough to ask for support. We are so glad that you are now safe.

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Free: Self-Care Quickies Guide for busy days

By Keridwyn Deller

I often hear from friends and clients that it’s tricky to include self-care into their busy lives, so I was inspired to create this “7 Self-Care Quickies” guide as a free gift for everyone! This PDF guide shares 7 self-care “quickies” that can be done by even the busiest of people on the busiest of days.

The guide is short (just like you need it to be!) and many of the tips may surprise you! Discover how easily and naturally you can add some self-care into your busy day.

Get the free guide here.

Which tips are your favorites? What self-care quick tips do you have to add? Share in the comments on this post or in my Facebook group!

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Why you might want a “Follow” button on your personal Facebook page (and how to add one)

by Keridwyn Deller

Are you aware of the option to add a “follow” button to your personal facebook page?

(If you want to know what it looks like, you can view/click the one on my personal page at fb.com/keridwyn.)
I’m going to share the WHY first and then follow that with instructions on HOW after that. If you know you already want one, feel free to skip down to the part that says “So you want to have a “Follow” button too? Great. It’s easy.” 
Reasons WHY you may want to add a follow button:
Having a follow button on your personal facebook page (the one that you add and request friends from) allows people to follow your public posts without having friend status with you. In other words, when you share a post publicly, both your friends AND your followers will see it.
Maybe you get a lot of friend requests from people who admire you but who you don’t know well enough to “facebook friend.” Maybe you own a school or run an online course. Or work with clients. Or are an expert in your area and like to educate others. Or maybe you just don’t want to be facebook friends with everyone. Maybe you like to limit friends to people you have a certain level of intimacy with but still want to allow others to see what you have to say.
Some additional benefits of adding a follow button:
 
You can get the word out more by sharing public posts. When friends or followers see these posts, THEY can share them too and everyone they share it with will see it and be able to share. If you share something privately and a friend shares that post, only your mutual friends will see it.
Follow buttons = less awkwardness. You get a friend request from someone who doesn’t fit your definition of facebook friend. If you delete the request, they become a follower automatically and will see your public posts (and they won’t be notified you didn’t friend them).
You may want to expand your reach as an influencer or knowledgeable source. Here’s an example: Say I take a workshop from a yoga instructor named Amanda. Amanda doesn’t know me, she only taught me some moves! But I am a fan of Amanda and want to learn more about her. Plus, she seems pretty cool and I want to hear more about what she’s interested in. Now, if Amanda has a “Follow” button, I don’t have the awkward choice of deciding if I should send a friend request to her to stay in touch. I can just follow her! Thanks, Amanda!
Having a follow button is helpful for me as I’m in the wellness industry as a Hypnotherapist and because I run a Seattle entertainment blog. I work with clients in-person and online and am gearing up to take my group workshops online too and reach hundreds of additional clients. I get followers for these reasons. I choose to post some content publicly, some to “Friends-only” and some to select group of friends. It’s pretty great to have this feature.
You get the point. 
 
 
So you want to have a “Follow” button too?
Great. It’s easy. Here’s how:
1) Go to facebook.com and be sure you are logged in to your personal account (you’ll see your current personal profile pic at the top to the right of center.)
2) Click on the down arrow on the bar at the top of the page. It’s a tiny down-pointing triangle at the top near the far right side. This pulls up a drop down menu.
3) Select “Settings” from the drop down menu. This will pull up a new screen.
4) On the left, click “Public Posts.”
5) On the next screen, in the center near the top it says “Who Can Follow Me” – select “Public” in the grey box.
Facebook explains this (and a bit more about checking who is following you) here.
Any questions? Just ask. You can message me directly via my form at keridwyn.com/contact. Oh, and of course you can also follow me on facebook at fb.com/keridwyn. 🙂
After you set up your follow button, give yourself a gold star!
– Keridwyn

instagram.com/keridwyn

As a social media marketer for 8+ years, I’ve had this question a lot. So I finally wrote a post about it. G Hope it helps. Drop me a line in the blog comments or via FB if it did (or if you have questions or need clarification on anything. If you have a question, it’s likely others do too.)

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Pocket Potpourri: Podcasts, thank you notes, aliens, short stories, and a trans film festival

Pocket Potpourri:
I’m bringing back “Pocket Potpourri” posts – my way of sharing a handful of tidbits in one fun post.
What I’m listening to: By the Book Podcast
I’m so grateful to my friend Nora for introducing me to this fantastic podcast a while back. The fate of this podcast was up in the air for a while but they’ve been picked up by Stitcher, thank goodness, and are planning for their next season. Your delightful “By the Book” hosts, Jolenta and Kristen, read a self-help book and apply it to their lives for two weeks and report back. These two are charming, funny hosts with a lot of great insight. Some of the episodes expose the ridiculousness of some books while others are quite inspiring. They pick a wide range of books for their show so it’s always entertaining. I recommend starting at Season 1. Or if there’s a particular book you’re interested in, jump to that episode first and then go back and start with Season 1, episode 1.
What I rediscovered: Paperless Post
There’s always more room for gratitude. I really enjoy taking the time to write out thank you notes, but sometimes I don’t find the time to do this – often times this becomes a lesser priority on my to-do list and I push it off until it’s far too late. Luckily, the folks at Paperless Post reached out to me recently and I was reminded of this fun online-card service. I’ve sent a few thank you notes to friends recently and it was a delightful experience to pick out an online card for them and send it to them. Would I rather have all the time in the world and send a paper card? Sure. But I feel like sending a virtual card is better than no-card at all, and paperless post sure feels a lot different than a text or FB message. I’ve used this service in the past for invites for special occasions too (save the dates, baby showers, bachelorette parties, special birthdays). It’s a great tool to collect RSVPs for events as well if you want something a little fancier than a Facebook event page but don’t feel the need to hand address every card.
Something that’s been making me smile: Strange Planet
If you haven’t checked out this cartoon, delight may await. 😉
Strange Planet by Nathan W Pyle
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Book I just finished: The Thing Around Your Neck
This collection of short stories by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was emotionally rich with diverse stories of characters in Africa and Africans in American. While a few of the stories left me feeling hanging, wanting to know what happened next for the characters, I enjoyed this collection quite a bit as a whole. If you are unfamiliar with this talented author’s work, I recommend you start with her magnificent book “Americanah.” The Ting Around Your Neck” was my 11th read of 2019. You can see my full list, here. What’s the last book you loved reading?
What you should watch: Translations Seattle Transgender Film Festival
Coming up May 2 – 5, The Translations Seattle Transgender Film Festival is a groundbreaking film festival that provides the Pacific Northwest with a venue for films by, for, and about transgender, non-binary, and gender-diverse people and the issues facing the community. Launched in 2006, Translations is one of only a few transgender film festivals in the world, and places emphasis on visibility and positive representations.
Opening night features award-winning “The Garden Left Behind.” There’s also a free workshop and shorts event on “How to Be a Trans Ally.
Festival Trailer:

Brené Brown’s new Netflix special, The Call to Courage, is the 76 minutes of inspiration you’re looking for this week

It’s pretty likely you’re one of the millions of people who have seen Brené Brown’s TedTalk from 2010. If you haven’t (or if you want a fresher), you can find it here (complete with a transcript for those of us who like to read along).

Her books, five of which are New York Times bestsellers, have made a huge splash in the self-improvement reading world. (I have read the Blinkist version of a few of her books as well.)

This inspiring Texan woman is back with her own Netflix special. “The Call to Courage” has more to say about vulnerability and its relationship to courage as well as some fun behind the scene glimpses into her life and experiences after that TedTalk video went viral (she thought only 500 or so people would see it!). It’s a snug 76 minutes and I enjoyed the heck out of it. I recommend you check it out (and I would love for you to come back and share your thoughts in the comments below or on my Facebook page)! I love having the chance to discuss inspiring videos with others (and my attempt to create a virtual-TedTalk-inspired-by-bookclubs-club never really took off) – I truly mean it when I say I want to hear your thoughts!

I took some notes for myself during my watch-party-of-one but am putting them after a bit down the page so you don’t have to read any spoilers. Ok, so self-improvement flick “spoilers” don’t have the same intensity as spoilers of the final season of “Game of Thrones,” but I’m still careful not to share spoilers. (I’m looking at you, friends who are sharing funny-but-STILL-SPOILERS images right now.)

My notes & thoughts on the show are below. These are just notes I jotted down when watching the Netflix special, so they may not all make total sense out of context. I recommend you watch the show now, then come back to read my thoughts (and comment with your own).

UPDATE: I have a LOT of notes, it turns out, but writing them all out was helpful for me, personally. That said, it’s a TON to read through so I have no hard feelings if you don’t read through them all, as they are a personal recap of the takeaways I wanted to remember from the show.

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Inside Pocket: 3 tips for KonMari’ing shared belongings with your partner

My KonMari’ing has returned after a brief hiatus.

Two nights ago, I revisited my bags and backpack drawers and felt that good whoosh of success after completing it.

Up until now, almost all of my KonMari’ing has been on my own belongings (clothes, books, papers, accessories, miscellaneous stuff). Occasionally he’ll check out what I’m getting rid of (in case there’s a costume piece he wants to keep that I don’t), but mostly he’s just been my supportive cheerleader as I tackle my stuff on my own.

Last night, Brandon and I started our joint kitchen KonMari’ing.

There are three agreements that Brandon and I made before we got started last night. I wanted to share these in case it helps others who are “choosing what to keep” and getting organized with a partner.

1) Before diving in, we agreed that we didn’t have to do the whole kitchen and pantry area all at once, guessing we would be happier if we broke it down into shorter segments. (When we were wedding planning, we came up with the phrase “I love you and I’m at a good place to stop” when we reached a limit – we applied that concept here.) Sometimes it’s good to push to get to the end of a project, but not always. Sometimes it’s better to have a successful same-team-win feeling a few times in a row rather than hitting an exhausted level and having some communication breakdown.

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